are you still at the devil's house?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize