Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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