make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I wish they made helmets for livers.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
