i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
