My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.