So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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