If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
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