I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
