I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
