I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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