Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
