I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
