Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
