If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
