I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
