not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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