Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
