who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
