i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
