Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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