omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
