Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
