Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize