I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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