How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
