She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize