just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
