You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just gift wrapped bread.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
