You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.