My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.