he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize