Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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