Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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