I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
