I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
