Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you have to choose: penises or morals?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
only you would photoshop your dick
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
