A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
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i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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