If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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