Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize