my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
