the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
