It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
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just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
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So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
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