I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
