Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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