You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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