I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Welp...herpes.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
