Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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