I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
