u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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