I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i now understand why vodka
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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