You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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