i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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