I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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