are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
