mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize