I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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