the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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