How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
