She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
