well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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