About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
