She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Quick, to the slutcave!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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