LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
