I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
