She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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