Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
