do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
